


Sunless

by Chibiscuit



Series: Declaration of Codependence [1]
Category: 18th Century CE RPF, Hamilton - Miranda, Historical RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 04:53:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8314615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chibiscuit/pseuds/Chibiscuit
Summary: Martha Jefferson never wished this for her husband but her voice can no longer reach him.
When Martha passed away, the sun died out with her and the only source of light left was the flicker of a fickle flame. A candle in the growing darkness? Or a will-o’-wisp leading him into the abyss?





	

**Author's Note:**

> I had to wait up last night and this sorta happened. It's vague and sad but I kinda like it?

When Martha passed away, the sun died out with her and the only source of light left was the flicker of a fickle flame. A candle in the growing darkness? Or a will-o’-wisp leading him into the abyss? Did it really matter? He craved that flame yet he would never be satisfied by it. Even though it was so simple. It had been simple. The sun is irreplaceable, they say, yet still he tried to obtain it, for the sun was gone and he had erased her last rays himself. In that murky gloom, a single light shone through to him and for the first time he felt like basking in its warmth. He was the torch that lead him, chasing away the shadows, soothing his eclipsed heart.

_How much longer will I need him?_

As long as the memories remain, as long as the nightmares persist…

He would follow that flame, however fickle it may be. At times a bright fire, burning stronger than any star. The next moment nothing more than a smouldering campfire. Yet to him it appeared ever shining; the illusion of the sun. So close and yet so far away. It drew him in, like a moth (or is it a lamb to the slaughter?), tempting him closer and closer, and then he was gone. A far-off light that somehow still managed to blind him. Like Icarus he flew within an inch of bliss. Unlike Icarus, it was not he who fell, but the flame that drew away. Never to touch that warm fire, he was nevertheless scorched. Burned from the inside with a desire, a love, almost as strong as that of the sun - _for_ the sun- yet as forbidden as the act Prometheus committed to grant it upon them.

He tried to control it but how does one how control a wildfire in one’s veins? Sometimes, it became so hot, so undeniable. A raging inferno that needed to be doused before it could consume him completely and leave him in ashes. In Monticello, his beloved home, he could drown in a lake so deep no flame could ever reach it. He had erased her rays yet a reminder still remained of a much simpler time now long past.

_How much longer will I need her?_

As long as this feeling remains, as long as the dreams persist…

Completely submerged, he cast himself into darkness again, but from the blue abyss the moon appears. A pale reflection of the sun on the waves, it nevertheless cast ripples in his mind, and from the deep sea of unconsciousness, memories resurface.

And suddenly it is freezing again. Cold, wet and shaking, he yearns for the heat of that flame even more than before. So he seeks it out once more, tries to grasp it, even when he knows he can’t, shouldn’t, won’t.

And around and around it goes. An endless circle, vicious, inescapable.

In the darkness, he can’t live. So he follows the flame.

He wants the flame. He can’t have the flame. So he douses the flame.

In the abyss, he finds quietude. In the abyss, the moon shines. In the abyss, he remembers.

So he’s cast into the darkness. In the darkness, he can’t live.

Why doesn’t he just stop? _Because I promised_. Promised? What exactly…?

_Because she’d want me to live on_. So he does.

(He doesn’t hear the wind as it whispers in her voice, _“…not like this…”)_

Until the day he can either embrace the fire for what it is or look upon the sun again.

**Author's Note:**

> 'Jefferson is probably the kind of person Silent Hill would draw in. Madison too actually.' I randomly think as I'm uploading his. Huh. Kinda want to see that now. ^^;;
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. :)


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